When I made the decision to leave my job recently, I made the decision to leave a lot of perks. Confirmed and ongoing access to health care (paid by my employer), including dental and vision. I had access to technology and infrastructure that I did not have to pay for. I was sent around the West Coast of the United States on someone else’s dollar. I got to meet, speak with, and develop relationships with individuals that are ridiculously successful in their field. I learned about professionalism, communication, and advocacy work in an intense, demanding, and dynamic environment. And I was paid rather well to do it all.
Why did I leave? Did I do it for the right reasons?
I left because I knew there was more out there for me. I knew that I was resenting the days that I came to work and didn’t get to do what I loved, not just what I was good at. I left so that I could not depend on the security of another organization for my well-being and independence. I left because I wanted to challenge myself to float.
The title of this specific blog entry comes from a passage written by Hope Edelman in a book entitled “If I’d Known Then.” It’s a compilation of letters written by successful women in various fields to younger versions of themselves. A dear friend and former colleague of mine gave me this book as a going away present on my last day at work and it proved to be one of the most touching gifts anyone has given to me recently. The reason is… the passage gave me permission to “float.”
Some of my favorite excerpts from the passage are below:
- Control minimizes risk, which feels like a good idea now. Only much later will you discover the downside to impulsive choices.
- You will shy away from big risks because you’ll think you’re lacking courage. THis is not true. Courage, you have plenty of. What you’re missing is faith. Faith in something other than yourself… Faith that whatever happens, you will nonetheless survive.
- You are not a random peg. There is a hole where you fit in this world, a place uniquely molded just for you. Everything you do does matter- but both more and less than you think. Your good choices will please you, but they will not redeem you. Your mistakes will hurt, but they will not cripple you. You are both more resourceful than you think and more protected than you know. So take risks. TAKE THEM NOW.
- One day you’ll learn that fear comes from a projection of what might be, what could be, what better not be, instead of what is. What is is NOW. What is is YOU.
- You’re too buoyant to drown. Lean back. Trust the water. I know it’s hard. Bugt the current will carry you safely to places you can’t even imagine. Don’t worry. Really: don’t worry. Let go. Float, baby. Float.
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