With Tika on our foreheads, we can't help but smile
Travel affords ample time to be introspective. It is perhaps the reason that many people succumb to their wanderlust. To give themselves permission to indulge in the conversations that are usually pushed aside by a Vanilla Latte, briefcase, and the subway. I’ve learned much about myself as a traveler. One of the introspective conversations I’ve been having with myself while on this particular trip has been about being “Adventure” and the concept of having “boundaries.”
I very much long to be someone who is perceived as adventurous. Working in the travel industry or entertainment, you have to be. You get on the Amazing Race by being willing to eat a bug. Application videos for travel competitions underline the importance of a candidate being willing to try anything. If I want to do this as a career, I’ve got to do it all.
It has therefore been rather alarming to have two very different occasions help me to learn the difficult lesson that I do, in fact, have limitations to my sense of adventure.
The first seems so silly in retrospect. There are decorative wall hangings available in many stores here in Bhaktapur. They sparkle and glow with vibrant colors and patterns. After salivating over them for the past couple of weeks, Patty and I each decided to indulge and buy ourselves a present.
I entered the shop with an idea of what I wanted; I pictured my standard earth tone color scheme- brown, brick, copper. When I emerged 40 minutes later with a bright green wall hanging, I told myself I was being adventurous. I wanted to challenge myself to buy something that was unusual for me. But it didn’t sit right. I literally squirmed over the decision for at least two days.
Why was this bugging me so much? We’re talking about a piece of art, here. While only mildly expensive (US $50), it was the internal struggle that alarmed me. Could this fabric be indicative of a larger issue? Was I too narrow-minded? Did I only go with what I knew would fit? Shouldn’t I also be able to be a “green” person?
Alas 48 hours later, I returned to the store and exchanged for a wall hanging that fit. I immediately felt a sense of relief; this is going into my home and I love it. I can’t wait to hang it proudly on my walls. If I had purchased the green one, I fear it would have remained in a packing tube under my bed. Plus, having had the two day struggle involved, the art piece has an even bigger story behind it.
I was sitting with this revelation when the second circumstance to challenge my internal dare-devil presented itself. Patty and I were invited to attend a sheep sacrifice. It was just Diwali here in Nepal, and offerings are made to the gods. There are many ceremonies and rituals that take place, including animal sacrifice.
We cautiously agreed to attend the sacrifice ceremony the following morning. It would make great footage after all. We’d be able to say we’d done it. Cross it off the list. At least that’s what I told myself.
But the more I thought about it, I remembered my high school grad trip to Europe when my friends and I purchased tickets to a bullfight in Barcelona. It was barbaric and stirred our stomachs for hours afterward. There was nothing pleasant about the experience, regardless of whether I could cross it off the list.
I bravely confessed my trepidation to Patty. Attending a sacrifice was not something I was comfortable with. In fact I was terrifed. I had already seen an animal die as part of a cultural celebration. I had already crossed this off my list.
Again, did this mean I wasn’t adventurous? Brave? Did it make me weak? These questions bombarded me, but I stuck with my instincts. This wasn’t for me.
In retrospect, I don’t regret returning the wall hanging and not participating in the sheep sacrifice. Traveling, at least in my current state, is still a leisure activity. I get to choose the best and worst parts of my experience and share them with my audience, make recommendations, and encourage them to live their own journey.
After all, I am brave and adventurous in other ways. During the first three weeks of this trip alone, being a girl who rarely eats red meat, I’ve eaten buffalo and mutton. In fact, I even ate buffalo intestine as part of one of these sacred ceremonies. In that same ceremony, I bit the head off and ate a dried fish. I rode 20 kilometers on a speeding motorcycle without a helmet to get a good shot of Kathmandu traffic. I’ve filmed, photographed, and written about it all… I have nothing to be ashamed of.
I just have boundaries. I get tested and I have to remember to allow myself to be human. To remain proud of my joie de vivre spirit, while simultaneously declining an invitation on a very rare circumstance. I have to give myself permission to have preferences.
I believe what sets me apart as a travel guide is that I am willing to share all parts of a journey like this. The decisions I make… and why. The places I go… and how they made me feel.
Next week on Journey with Janelle, I am paragliding off the Himalayas. Though I may have boundaries, you can still call me Adventurous..
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Janelle K. Eagle is infamous for always having her hands tied up in multiple projects simultaneously. She's directed a lot of theater, worked on some films, and raised lots of money for non-profits. She travels all the time and loves to share her videos, photography and writing via this blog. 
